I wrote this last year before the finalization of the adoption of our daughter. On October 31, 2008 our wait was over-so on the eve of the first anniversary of Delaney's adoption I thought I would publish this on my blog. I hope to use this post as a jump-start to post more often! (in the pictures you'll see the fence that we built to get our license approval...and Delaney today!)
People always tell me that I am a very patient person. Before having children I was a Special Education teacher, and that comment was directed at me on a very regular basis. For a time I believed it was true- but the adoption process taught me otherwise. Throughout the process I found myself vowing that I will be content as soon as… fill in the blank. The first example of this started with Antioch’s information meeting. I anxiously awaited the date for the meeting, and I told myself that as soon as my husband and I attended that meeting, then we could calmly and rationally contemplate our choices and we would patiently go forward with the next steps in the process. I truly felt that the process would be pretty easy for me since I was already busy raising 3 active little boys. I was naïve.
At each new step of the process I told myself over and over again as soon as, and within moments of reaching that next goal, the longing began creeping its way back into my thoughts- and remained there until the next as soon as took its’ place. As long as I had a job to do to keep me busy (that directly related to adoption of course) I felt we were one step closer to our daughter. (Did I mention we longed for a girl?) I barely took a moment to celebrate the completion of one milestone as I ached to jump into the next step. Although I heard the message over and over again from all the wonderful Antioch staff to have faith- and that our child would join us in when she was supposed to - so stop stressing and leave it to Him, part of me believed that He needed me to do the legwork- a little earthly assistance.
Not one step in the process went the way I expected. The milestone that I had been most looking forward to (other than bringing home our daughter)- and truly believed would be my last as soon as was the approval of our foster license. There had been several glitches along the way, and we were at the point that our file was on the licensor's desk just waiting for approval. On Valentine’s Day 2008 our YFC licensor Lois called to notify us of one last hurdle. We needed a fence around our empty above ground pool. I told her it would be done that weekend, and it was. (Getting the fence built is another story all together- one we’ll save for another day!) On the evening of February 18th (Presidents Day) as soon as the last nail was hammered in, I emailed photos of the completed fence to YFC. The next morning I checked my email and was thrilled to find a note from YFC letting me know that we should be hearing back from the state soon, but the fence looked great. When the phone rang a few minutes later- the caller ID read YFC. My heart started to race out of excitement to finally be there-licensed! The conversation that followed left me numb- “…we have a one day old baby girl…”the rest was pretty much a blur, but just hours later, joined by the very friend who referred me to Antioch Adoptions, I walked out of Tacoma General with our foster/adopt daughter. (My poor husband had left that morning for a business trip and was unable to join me.) Karen, the placement coordinator commented that this must feel like the shortest pregnancy ever. If she would have asked me the day before I would have said it was the longest pregnancy ever- but what a difference a day makes. We were there!
At each new step of the process I told myself over and over again as soon as, and within moments of reaching that next goal, the longing began creeping its way back into my thoughts- and remained there until the next as soon as took its’ place. As long as I had a job to do to keep me busy (that directly related to adoption of course) I felt we were one step closer to our daughter. (Did I mention we longed for a girl?) I barely took a moment to celebrate the completion of one milestone as I ached to jump into the next step. Although I heard the message over and over again from all the wonderful Antioch staff to have faith- and that our child would join us in when she was supposed to - so stop stressing and leave it to Him, part of me believed that He needed me to do the legwork- a little earthly assistance.
Not one step in the process went the way I expected. The milestone that I had been most looking forward to (other than bringing home our daughter)- and truly believed would be my last as soon as was the approval of our foster license. There had been several glitches along the way, and we were at the point that our file was on the licensor's desk just waiting for approval. On Valentine’s Day 2008 our YFC licensor Lois called to notify us of one last hurdle. We needed a fence around our empty above ground pool. I told her it would be done that weekend, and it was. (Getting the fence built is another story all together- one we’ll save for another day!) On the evening of February 18th (Presidents Day) as soon as the last nail was hammered in, I emailed photos of the completed fence to YFC. The next morning I checked my email and was thrilled to find a note from YFC letting me know that we should be hearing back from the state soon, but the fence looked great. When the phone rang a few minutes later- the caller ID read YFC. My heart started to race out of excitement to finally be there-licensed! The conversation that followed left me numb- “…we have a one day old baby girl…”the rest was pretty much a blur, but just hours later, joined by the very friend who referred me to Antioch Adoptions, I walked out of Tacoma General with our foster/adopt daughter. (My poor husband had left that morning for a business trip and was unable to join me.) Karen, the placement coordinator commented that this must feel like the shortest pregnancy ever. If she would have asked me the day before I would have said it was the longest pregnancy ever- but what a difference a day makes. We were there!
Even now- with our daughter safely at home, right where she should be- we wait. The months ahead will bring ups and downs. There are still as soon as milestones ahead, but now I do not dwell on them. I have learned that this process will run its course – have faith and try to embrace the wait.
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